Ever wondered what would happen if the legendary creator of Counter-Strike emerged from a time capsule, decided to build a spiritual successor to SWAT 4 and Payday, but constructed it using spare parts from 2005 and a whole lot of raw, unfiltered ambition? Say hello to Alpha Response, a game that is simultaneously a glimpse of tactical brilliance and a janky, glorious, hot mess.

Ever wondered what would happen if you took your sprawling, multi-million dollar drug empire and decided to go legit by laundering it through a glamorous new casino, only to find out the casino was built by someone who's never actually seen a poker table and thinks "gameplay" is a four-letter word? Well, the Casino DLC for Drug Dealer Simulator 2 is here to show you exactly how that feels.

Ever wondered what would happen if one of the greatest, most terrifying games ever made was lovingly excavated from its 1999 tomb, dusted off, and given a 4K facelift by a team that actually gives a shit? Nightdive Studios has answered that prayer with the System Shock 2: 25th Anniversary Remaster, a release that finally makes my old, heavily-modded install of the original completely obsolete. And thank god for that.

Ever wondered what would happen if a developer crafted one of the most brilliant, deep, and satisfying modern warfare RTS engines you've ever seen, but then wrapped it in a package that seems to have a deep-seated contempt for its own players? That's the maddening experience of playing Broken Arrow, a game with sky-high potential that's currently grounded by some of the most baffling design choices I have ever witnessed.

Ever wondered what would happen if your favorite chaotic, murderous grade school simulator came back for a third day, but it felt like it had suffered a minor concussion over the weekend? Welcome back to class for Kindergarten 3, a sequel that’s just as funny as its predecessors but feels suspiciously smaller, simpler, and emptier.

Ever wondered what would happen if you graduated from Wizard University, opened a charming little potion shop, but then realized the business plan was written on a napkin and half the equipment was still on backorder? That’s Potion Shop Simulator, a game with a heart of gold and a body that feels like it’s still in Early Access.

Ever wondered what would happen if your favorite long-running MMO finally gave you the direct story sequel you've been craving for years, but in the process, it also gave every single character an existential crisis and sent you a bill for the privilege? That's the story of The Elder Scrolls Online in 2025, a game that takes one glorious step forward and about five baffling steps sideways.

Ever wondered what would happen if Sea of Thieves had a drunken one-night stand with H.P. Lovecraft, and their baby was a janky, hilarious, panic-inducing fishing trip? Well, grab five friends you don't mind screaming at, because Dreadline: Net Quota Disclosure is here, and it's a glorious goddamn mess.

Ever wondered what would happen if you lost your job to an AI, got gifted a pair of magical horny sunglasses, and then immediately tried to fuck your liquor cabinet? Date Everything answers that question with a resounding "Yes," but what's truly insane is that after the initial wave of laughter, you might actually catch feelings.

Ever wondered what would happen if you had to work on a group project to save your own life, but every single one of your partners was just a different, equally dysfunctional version of yourself from an alternate timeline? Well, The Alters is here to turn that therapy-session-from-hell into a full-blown survival game, and holy shit, it is a trip.

Ever wondered what would happen if the best part of The Sims (the building) had a baby with a minimalist art gallery, and you got to watch that brilliant baby take its first, slightly wobbly steps? Say hello to Small Spaces, an Early Access game that swaps high-stakes pressure for pure, zen-like creativity.

Ever wondered what would happen if you combined the serene, profit-driven management of a business sim with the frantic, nail-biting terror of a midnight zombie siege? Well, wonder no more, because Zombie Graveyard Simulator is here to prove that the only thing more profitable than death is defending your recently-deceased customers from becoming the undead competition.

Ever wondered what would happen if you poured your heart and soul into opening your dream restaurant, only to discover you have a crippling gambling addiction and your freeloading uncle, who has taken up permanent residence in the bathroom, keeps "borrowing" money for the bus? Well, Wrap House Simulator is here to serve you that exact, soul-crushing experience on a sizzling hot platter.

Ever wondered what would happen if an NPC, doomed to repeat the same line for eternity, finally broke free from his programming, only to discover his grand new 'adventure' was just a series of slightly more complex fetch quests? Well, the folks at Viva La Dirt League have answered that question with Nice Day for Fishing, a game that is both a hilarious love letter to their fans and a perfect simulation of MMO busywork.

Ever wondered what would happen if Dark Souls and Diablo had a baby, but that baby was raised by a brilliant artist who was also a cruel, unforgiving Dungeon Master? Well, congratulations, you've just envisioned No Rest for the Wicked, an Early Access title that is simultaneously one of the most beautiful and most infuriating games I've played in years.

Ever wondered what it would be like to run your own business, only to discover that your single greatest accomplishment was also the key to your eternal damnation? Well, Liquor Store Simulator is here to pour you a tall glass of that exact existential dread, and trust me, it has a bitter aftertaste.

Ever wondered what would happen if your fondest childhood memories stormed back into your life, only to immediately trip over the rug, spill beer on your console, and then have the audacity to charge you 50 bucks for the privilege? Well, Commandos: Origins is here to answer that question with a resounding, glitch-fueled "Ja, mein Kommandant!"

Ever since video games discovered cooking, we've virtually flipped enough burgers to feed a small continent. Now Food Truck Simulator rolls onto Steam with a promise to spice up the formula by adding actual driving between cooking sessions. But like most food truck first days, this one's got some serious teething problems.

Ever wondered what would happen if someone tried to remake one of gaming's most legendarily brutal action titles but couldn't decide which version to actually remake? Ninja Gaiden 2 Black answers that question with a remaster that's caught between three different games, powered by an engine that sometimes feels like it's actively trying to kill you - and not in the fun way the original did.

Ever wondered what it would be like to be the raid boss instead of the hero? None Shall Intrude answers that question with a deck-building roguelite that has more potential than a dragon's hoard and more rough edges than its scales.